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Mother’s Day

May 10, 2010

my mothers day was a letdown. Many a moon ago, I had learned not to depend on others for my happiness. But then you get married and expect to have a partner to carry burdens with you. Not in my case. Apparently I married a kid. Some times I think my boys are more capable then he is in tolerating and helping. He cannot handle anything. Sometimes I just need a stronger man to help me. I cannot always be the strong one. I am tired of it. I have 5 little people expecting me to make things ok for them. Who makes it ok for me? I know he is the breadwinner and supports the family etc etc but who is there for me? If it wasnt for the moms group, I think I would have just crawled into a hole by now. Would he be there for me? What road to take? AND how can you be a complete Dick to me and then expect to get some? at least make me feel a little attractive and not just a release to YOUR lust. I cannot even get to the point of lust. Fucking ridiculous. Very frustrated by all. But as a wise woman just reminded me. Its all cycles. But the lows are more often then the highs. DH borrowed money to pay gas bill even tho I know we have the gas to pay it, but I guess it would detract from the beer fund?

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